Being able to seek the right help can be a challenge for women we often try and manage alone and doing everything means we can get ourselves into a right old pickle, even to breaking point before we’d even consider finding anyone else to help us. We can be our own worst critics and believe we have to have it all sussed on our own.
Here comes the juggling act
One of the reasons I believe we are reluctant to get what we need when we need it is because we have been taught to become Super Women. From a young age we’ve been conditioned to be Juggling Queens whose role in life it seems is to keep everyone else happy and everything ticking over, even if it is at the detriment of our own happiness and well being.
“Trust yourself enough to let go, shift and uproot.
Give yourself permission to shed who you used to be.
You’re allowed to start over and find new ways to bloom into your best self.”
We are masters at juggling. Give us a task to do and we’ll fit it in somehow. Even if we have a ton of other things to do. We’ll say yes and juggle it all whether it’s for work, our businesses, families or homes. And even though we know we are worn out and doing too much juggling we won’t ask anyone else to help. Until we really have to.
Because what will others think of you if you do?
These days it seems you have to wear the busy, busy, busy badge of honour with pride as you’re the odd one out if you’re not juggling and oh-so busy. But in reality all this busyness does not do us or our petite businesses any good. Especially if you want to grow, bloom and transform. Something has to give and typically it ends up being your sanity and well-being. How do I know? Well let’s just say I’ve been there.
The Best Project You’ll Ever Work On Is YOU
One of the most memorable conversations I’ve had about getting the right support and achieving desired success was with an Olympic Coach. He shared some valuable insights as to how Olympic athletes train and prepare for their successful outcomes.
This conversation totally altered my perspective and beliefs on how I choose to seek the right help for my life and business. As it seems to be a very British trait that we really don’t like asking others for help. When asked we’ll say everything is wonderful. Even if it isn’t. Because we are Juggling Queens and the troopers who get on with what we have to and muddle through.
But muddling through and pretending you’re A-OK does not get you to where you want to be. It leaves you frazzled, burnt out, overwhelmed and eventually has a detrimental effect on you and your business.
But there is an alternative
Here are the nuggets of wisdom from the Olympians.
To be the very best they can be they get all the help they can.
Everything they need they actively seek out.
They feel absolutely no shame in asking for assistance.
They don’t beat themselves up for choosing to work with an expert coach who will improve their technique and approach.
They know they need the expertise of a dietician to ensure they are eating well and taking in exactly the right amount of nutrients to enhance their performance and energy levels.
They keep a physiotherapist on speed dial who will keep their bodies in optimum condition and free from pain.
They are willing to invest in themselves and do whatever it takes to be as successful as they can be.
They throw everything at it. In fact if they didn’t seek help or get the right team around them they know they are unlikely to achieve the results they desire.
Oh and the most important thing of all. They know, however woo-woo it may seem that meditation and keeping a positive mind-set is everything. So they diligently work on this too.
It would be laughable for an Olympian to believe even for a moment that they can perform at their very best single handed. It takes a tribe of support. They don’t see getting help as failure or weakness. It’s an absolute necessity.
“A champion is not defined by their wins but how they can recover when they fall.”
So if you are a Juggler why not follow the Olympians method instead?
Since I launched my new petite business in the Summer and am now “officially” a Mentor, I’ve been out and about talking to a lot of people. And what I’ve found fascinating is the reaction I get when others ask me what I do for a living. Being a Mentor for women in business gets an entirely different response than being a Social Media Stylist.
It seems that social media services are seen as more of a business necessity.
Whereas mentoring. Well that’s a nicety.
I wondered why this is the perception?
The conclusion I’ve reached is that we really don’t like owning up to be seen as investing in ourselves. It’s frivolous and comes way down the priority list. Especially when we believe we “should” be able to cope and manage alone.
But being willing and able to invest in ourselves means a remarkable thing happens. We grow. Rapidly. And so does our business.
Transformation is often about unlearning and then relearning
The last few years have seen me go through some big life trauma and plenty of transformation. And I know and have learnt that investing in programming your mind for success is a smart a move. Being willing to do the hard work to weed out the negative committee in our heads is another. Admitting that we have a support team around us to enable us to show up and do our best work shows strength. Not weakness. And demonstrating the fact that we are willing to invest in ourselves and our petite businesses means others are more likely to invest in us.
Here’s what I’ve invested in to support my own learning and growth:
Meditation - I’ve spent eight weeks learning about Mindfulness and Stress Reduction Techniques with the University of Massachusetts. This was hugely beneficial, changed my life and is now in my own toolbox and pot of wisdom to benefit me and my clients.
Being a Calmer Ambassador for a new initiative the Reignite Project - This is to support entrepreneurs with their health and well-being with the aim of preventing burnout in at least 600,000 entrepreneurs across the world by 2023. Again this insight and knowledge not only benefits me, it benefits my clients.
Hypnosis - has been marvelous at helping me overcome sub-conscious beliefs that were quite simply getting in the way of my progress. I highly recommend this.
Homeopathy - My homeopath helps me manage my energy levels and hormones to keep me healthy and functioning well.
And there are plenty of other magical helpers who I know I can call on as and when I need them.
Yes, you really are worth it
As a woman in business you may be willing to invest in external support services such as a Virtual Assistant, accountancy services, marketing and social media. But don’t forget the very best investment you can make is in YOU. Women who invest in themselves go further quickly. And without you there is no business.
What do you need to take the leap?
One small step, even if it is asking for help and being honest about where you’re at will lead to you being able to take giant leaps forward. So don’t be afraid to take the first step and begin the inner work on YOU.
Meanwhile
Recently I’ve been juggling too and my intention was to write and publish this post today. However, the juggles have arrived.
My neighbour asked me to let out his dogs. I’d run out of milk and needed something for our dinner. Which meant an unplanned trip out to the supermarket. I needed to make arrangements with a friend to plan our trip in to London tomorrow. Then I got a phone call from my husband asking me “if I have time” would I do some research into some iron gates we need at home. And there would be a delivery at lunchtime. I want to call my Mum. And as for my emails, well it’s now 16.43 and I haven’t opened or read any yet.
Hey ho, surely it must be tea time?!
So you see this juggling act is a continuous work in progress and repeatedly comes to us all.
Ready to say farewell to your Juggling Queen and hello to being more like an Olympian?
I’d love to help you. I am offering brand new “Let the Transformation Begin Sessions” Get in touch to book in a discovery call to find out more.