We are at the midway turning point through the year in the northern hemisphere and this is an ideal time to stop, pause and reflect on where you've been and where you'd like to head next.
Despite being six months in to 2021 it still feels as if this year hasn't yet had the opportunity to get fully started. Everything feels topsy-turvy in the UK, within the space of a few days Mother Nature suddenly bloomed around us and our roses looked and smelt incredible in our garden. Finally summer arrived with a bang and intense heat, but overnight the atmosphere changed and was followed by dramatic torrential storms and downpours that cleansed the air and energy around us.
The beautiful roses battered by the storm let go and shed their petals. But now there are an abundance of buds patiently waiting to come back into bloom.
Just like the seasons and elements we humans are topsy-turvy too taking small steps forwards, only to find ourselves stepping right back and retreating and this merry dance is occurring repeatedly. We too are patiently waiting.
And so it comes as no surprise to me chatting to other friends, family and within my social community that there is the feeling of collective exhaustion and weariness.
Our hearts and souls have been through a traumatic and uncertain time, and as we begin to take tentative steps and reflect on our journeys now we can comprehend the grieving, healing and acceptance required for us to let go and attempt to move our lives forwards.
With well over a year in and out of lockdown and opening up only to close down again and again our inner strength, resilience and patience is continuously being tested. For some life hasn't changed whereas for others it's changed irrevocably. And this is inevitably taking its toll on our emotional and mental well-being.
““If you’re exhausted rest.
If you don’t feel like starting a new project, don’t.
If you don’t feel the urge to make something new, just rest in the beauty of the old, the familiar, the known.
If you don’t feel like talking stay silent.
If you’re fed up with the news turn it off.
If you want to postpone something until tomorrow, do it.
If you want to do nothing, do nothing today.
Feel the fullness of the emptiness, the vastness of the silence, the sheer life in your unproductive moments.
Time does not always need to be filled
You are enough simply in your being.”
”
For me personally this year has been a struggle, it has been intense for many reasons. For several months I seemed to have the look of a shocked rabbit caught in the headlights, whilst anxiously worrying about what we'd have to deal with next whizzing through my brain. I know I am not alone. Many of us are feeling the impact of living life on the edge for quite some time.
Despite having plenty of go-to well-being tools and techniques in my own spiritual toolbox, I've needed more deeper healing and restorative rest than ever before, as I focused my limited energy on overcoming insomnia, anxiety and mental exhaustion (and a few peri-menopause symptoms thrown into the mix too!). This has taken my understanding of proper rest, self care and self compassion to an entirely new level.
So is it any wonder our frazzled nervous systems long for a well earned rest?
We are immersed within a culture that positively encourages endless doing and high achieving productivity.
Surely you can cram in more, quicker and faster? This doing is masculine energy.
Being chronically tired, stressed and burnt out is just the norm. Regardless of what our bodies, minds and souls are repeatedly warning us, we carry on.
Until we can't.
When you feel the pressure to speed up – choose to slow down as it’s time for a rest revolution
When I feel anxious I tend to do more and fill the time with doing. When what I really need to do is stop doing and allow myself to be. However uncomfortable this feels at the time. Being is feminine energy.
Resting is not about catching up on lost sleep, deep restorative rest is necessary to recover and prevent burn-out and comes in various forms such as physical, mental, creative, emotional or spiritual.
Ideally we need to build more rest time into our day-to-day habits and rituals before we feel completely depleted. Small acts of rest and self care can be built into our day, without waiting for a chunk of time to go on holiday.
What is restful to me, may not be to you, however through-out the pandemic we are understanding the simple power of being outside, immersed in nature and this is always my go-to to revive my energy.
Making time and space for rest needs to be a priority in our lives because deep rest is essential to our collective healing and recovery. And the biggest takeaway of all - not feel guilty about it!
So as we continue to move through our own experiences here's what I have been reminded of:
Honour your feelings, experience and limitations. It may well differ from those around you, and this is OK.
Trust your intuition and common sense to do whatever feels good to you. Despite what anyone else says or does.
Gift yourself permission to rest for as long as it takes. Make your resting time non-negotiable.
We can slow down and still move gently forward in life
“ Can you see and feel we have to learn the power of deep rest?
We need to nurture ourselves in order to move forwards slowly and gently.
We can let go of the reins and allow what falls away, in order to create space for the new to be birthed and flow.
Choose to create and realign with your new rhythm.
This is the power of the feminine.”
I believe we have been given an opportunity to say no thanks to the endless pushing, busyness and striving and instead can choose a new nourishing rhythm to how we live and work, one that places us and our well-being first and not last.
It is only when we create and allow the necessary time and space for rest that we can feel fully back to ourselves. We are grounded, centred in our hearts and bodies, our inner flame reignites and burns brightly once more; clarity and inspiration speaks to us intuitively as our creativity and enthusiasm for life returns. And only then does life feel a little easier and flows again with more ease.
Now the density of the fog has dispersed...
My own path has become clearer, I feel I am facing forwards again. Thanks to homeopathy I am sleeping, feel less anxious and am mindful of my energy levels and when I need to take a breather.
In addition to learning more about the importance of deep rest I have been studying and have qualified with a diploma in divine feminine practices to aid mindful healing, rejuvenation and recovery. Along with my mindfulness stress based reduction certification (MBSR) all of this wisdom is now incorporated within my nature led mentoring services.
After an intense and traumatic time for so many of us globally I know this is where my work is being called to support now, mentoring those who are choosing to reconnect more deeply with themselves at heart and soul level and to find new ways to intentionally overcome all of life’s challenges.
Throughout the summer I am offering mindful online mentoring sessions to support you on your journey so far, where you are now and where you'd love to be.
If of interest you can book an online session together here.
Make space in your plans for doing and simply being
Whilst out purchasing some gift wrap in a local stationery shop recently the assistant offered me a free 2021 calendar. They had stacks available and she said no one wanted them. I thought about it briefly and politely declined.
As I left the store I realised living-day-to-day has become my sole focus. I am all for living in the moment, however I no longer dared to make any future plans. I wondered why? Why have I stopped envisioning my future? Why am I not trusting myself to make new plans?
And so a few days later I went back to the shop to purchase something else and noticed the free calendars. They still had plenty available. "Every garden is a little piece of nature” caught my eye. It was waiting patiently for me so that moment felt a poignant nudge from the Universe - come on Mel trust yourself to make some plans.....
The calendar is now on full display on my kitchen wall and I am starting to add my plans to it, trusting what will be will be. And if there are any more setbacks or delays, well I'll deal with it then. I am also planning more time for rest and to just be. Keeping an eye on balancing with all the doing.
It's time to gently start living and flowing with life again, do you feel it too?
“We must carve out little pockets of joy in our ordinary days. We must find sunshine. We must find rest without feeling guilty about resting. It’s so important to know what makes you feel good, to know what you must do each day to keep yourself feeling well.
We must stop glamourising neglecting our well-being as a sacrifice for more achievement, to consume more, achieve more, to have more. Life is happening whether we are noticing it all or not and if we don’t take time to notice, stop, pause, enjoy, savor and slow down then a day becomes a week, then a month, then a whole life - missed.
Notice your life. Be alive to it all. Stop waiting for the savoring. You’ve done enough. Enjoy for a while.”